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Funny

Funny stories to keep you amused!

Funny Stories – The Great Hamster Heist

Funny Stories - The Great Hamster HeistContinuing with our 5-minute, funny, short stories, this one is; Funny Stories – The Great Hamster Heist… Once upon a time in the quaint town of Peculiarville, there lived a peculiar man named Professor Cornelius McSnickerdoodle. The townsfolk knew him as the resident eccentric inventor whose experiments often left the town in fits of laughter. However, his latest endeavor was about to top them all.

One fine morning, Professor McSnickerdoodle burst into the local bakery with an air of excitement that could rival a sugar-crazed toddler. His bushy eyebrows wiggled like two caterpillars doing the cha-cha as he announced his grand plan.

“Good day, dear citizens of Peculiarville! Today, I unveil my magnum opus— the Ultimate Hamster-Powered Energy Generator!” he exclaimed with a flourish.

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Funny Jokes – Fanny Green and the Catholic Priest

Fanny GreenContinuing on our mission to bring a smile to the world, here’s the Fanny Green joke…

An Irish man goes to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. ‘Father’ he confesses, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.’

The priest tells the sinner; ‘Say three Hail Mary’s and you are forgiven’.

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Funny Jokes – The man who married the Scottish woman

DDUK Jokes - the Scottish womanThree friends married women from different parts of the world.

Here are their stories…

The first man married a Greek woman.

He told her that she was to do the dishes and keep the house all nice and tidy, just like a good Greek wife should.

It took a couple of days for her to get into this way of life, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes washed and put away.

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Funny Jokes – Before my operation

DDUK Jokes the operation oneContinuing on our mission to bring a smile to the world, here’s the operation joke…

A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a really beautiful young woman.

Hello there, he says; whats your name?

The woman giggles and says; I’m Christine, What’s yours?

I’m Bill, he says; Would you like to come back to my place?

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Funny jokes – The woman assassin

Funny jokes about womenThe CIA had an opening for an assassin and after all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were just three finalists left: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took the finalists through a large metal door and said they had just one last task.

We must know that you will follow instructions explicitly, no matter what said the leader. They all agreed that they would and they were each sent into another room.

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Funny pickup lines at dreamdateuk.co.ukSo… Dad jokes are a magnificent thing, but Cheesy pickup lines are even better and still ‘a thing’ – and the cheesier, the better!

We’ve put together our top choices to help you along in your next date. Go on…  just try one, we dare you!  Actually, its a fact that both men and women like to laugh and these will certainly make that happen! (all possible legal disclaimers apply).

Here’s our top favourites…

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