How to give the best oral sex. But before we get into the nitty gritty, there are certain considerations and principles that contribute to a positive, respectful, happy, and satisfying oral experience.
Here are some basic guidelines
Consent
Always ensure that both you and your partner have given enthusiastic and informed consent before engaging in any sexual activity, including oral sex.
Communication
Open and honest communication is key. Ask your partner about their preferences, boundaries, and comfort levels.
Give and receive feedback during the experience to make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves.
Hygiene
Both you and your partner should maintain good personal hygiene. This can help create a more comfortable and enjoyable experience for both parties.
Relaxation
Creating a relaxed and comfortable environment can enhance the experience for both you and your partner. Being at ease can make the experience more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Start Slowly
Begin with gentle and light touches. Gradually increase intensity and pace based on your partner’s reactions and cues.
Variety
Experiment with different techniques and movements to discover what your partner enjoys most. Pay attention to their body language and verbal cues.
Focus on the Clitoris (if applicable): If performing oral sex on someone with a clitoris, it’s often recommended to focus on the clitoral area. This can involve using your tongue and lips to provide stimulation.
Use Protection
If you’re engaging in oral sex with a partner whose STI status is uncertain, using a dental dam or condom can help reduce the risk of STI transmission.
Lubrication
Adequate lubrication can make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable. You can use water-based or silicone-based lubricants if needed.
Pay Attention to Feedback
Every person is different, so pay attention to your partner’s verbal and nonverbal cues to understand what they enjoy and what might be uncomfortable for them.
Embrace Enthusiasm
Approach oral sex with enthusiasm and a positive attitude. Show your partner that you’re enjoying the experience, which can contribute to their enjoyment as well.
Take Your Time
There’s no rush. Take your time to explore and enjoy the experience. This can help build anticipation and increase pleasure.
So, lets get down to the real details. Lets talk about the doing it, and we’ll start with…
The “blow job”
Blowjob, head, suck, nosh, gobble, neck, special attention… call it what you will, it can be perhaps a little intimidating at first, but it’s possibly one of the best sex acts to have in your pleasure skills.
And how do you give a good blow job anyway? Sex education at school certainly didn’t cover this? 🙂
It really comes down to personal preferences but for most blokes, just getting a blow job is a huge turn on!
Men love blow jobs because the act feels so sensitive and it’s a very exciting thing to lay back and watch what is going on! Simply the visual element alone of watching their penis slip in and out of a mouth gets most men going very quickly.
However, for some women, it’s definitely not their thing and if it’s not something you even want to try girls, dont! Your choice should always be your first choice!
For some women, it may not seem as intimate as sexual intercourse, maybe because there isn’t as much face-to-face contact, but just the willingness to do this adds a level of trust and intimacy (that is often underappreciated).
So… how do you give ‘good head’?
The ‘basics’ go something like this…
By far the number one rule for giving good head is actually wanting to give good head. Be enthusiastic about it. If you’re doing it and not liking it, it’s no good for either of you!
Make eye contact and ask them what they like. Bring your hands into the game too. Don’t forget to add some spit. Most women, and men, agree that a good blow job requires a lot of saliva. Don’t go overboard to the point that your hand is slipping all over the place, but try to do some “sexy spitting” and make it subtle whenever the penis starts to feel a little dry.
Keep your tongue soft and ‘loose’ for the most of it, let your man see your face while you do it… this is a big turn-on for most men!
If you feel up to it (or just simply want to try it to see what it feels like), go for the deep-throat technique. Deep throating, where you take the penis so far into your mouth it goes into your throat is definitely an advanced skill which will send most men crazy!!
There is a gag reflex to master (which does take some time) but once mastered will make your man not want to lose you! Some people’s gag reflex is more easily activated than others, but with practice, you can train it. Practice on things like ice lollies, certain fruit and veg. Not only does deep-throating feel amazing to men, it’s also a massive turn-on seeing their entire length somehow fit inside your mouth.
And to finish, consider your options at the ejaculation stage and if its your first blowjob, be prepared for a salty taste, which is not a bad taste, just probably not what you’re used to! If ejaculate in your mouth and swallowing is no big deal, get on with it and enjoy it! If the thought of swallowing semen is not your thing, don’t! instead, maybe finish with our hands, or let him finish inside you.
A couple of warnings… be careful with the teeth … they can bite, and no man wants that (well, actually, some do) but under normal circumstances, most men do not want their penis bitten!
If you don’t like the taste of semen, or don’t fancy the idea of having him ejaculate directly into your mouth, consider condoms.
And now the women’s turn!
And what is it called? Connie Lingus, Happy meal, bikini burger, muff-diving, facejob, going down… and many others. But how is it done properly?
For us women, oral sex can be one of the great pleasures in life. Laying back while our partner gets on with the job!
But as with all things, when it comes to mastering the art of the tongue, there is more to it than meets the eye. Oral sex can be a great form of foreplay or, the sensational main event. Even if you’ve been with your partner or partners for a while, it’s good to treat each time like the first time, and while there’s no one way to do it (because we’re all different) it never hurts to do a little research beforehand. With this in mind, it’s time to find out more about the technical side of cunnilingus. We have a few small points to help all you men (and women) ‘go down’ expertly!
Techniques for giving great oral stimulation
For many, the journey to intimate pleasure begins with a warm-up, both mentally and physically. It’s important to take things slowly and savor each moment. There’s no point in rushing! What truly matters is the shared experience. As the excitement builds, find a comfortable position that allows you to focus on the areas that matter most, such as the clitoral and vaginal regions.
The key here is to concentrate on providing pleasure, bringing your partner closer to a climax, all while emphasising the journey over the destination.
To start, let your partner feel the natural rhythm of your tongue and breath against their skin. As arousal intensifies, their entire body becomes more responsive, making even the slightest actions impact. Remember that providing great oral pleasure isn’t just about technique; enthusiasm plays a significant role. Show your enjoyment through gentle moans or words of reassurance to enhance the overall experience.
Once your partner is aroused, their heightened sensitivity will guide your actions. Gently explore the area around their underwear line and lower stomach. Begin with what feels natural and pay attention to their body language. Experiment with licking or softly nibbling along the way. Even if they’re not fully clothed, a bit of teasing can be appreciated. Avoid rushing to direct contact with areas like the clitoris; everyone appreciates a thorough warm-up.
Explore varied stimulation
Variety is the spice of life when it comes to delivering great oral pleasure. There are numerous erogenous zones to discover on this intimate journey, so ensure you pay attention to them all to learn how to give the best oral sex.
When your mouth first comes into contact with sensitive areas like the clitoris, be attentive to your partner’s preferences – neither too soft nor too hard. Listen to their cues, finding the pressure that suits them best. Keep in mind that there’s a hood covering the clitoris. Some may prefer direct contact, while others might enjoy stimulation over the hood. Some may even prefer a mix of both. The key is to listen to your partner, either through their body language or open communication, to determine what brings them the most pleasure.
Parting the labia and use your tongue to gently stimulate the clitoris, setting a comfortable pace. While ‘flicking’ may be portrayed in certain media, it can feel too intense for some. Experiment with different sensations like rubbing or sucking after stimulating the clitoris. Explore other areas with your tongue and hands once the clitoris has been sufficiently aroused.
Expanding Your Pleasure Arsenal
Now, it’s time to delve even deeper. By this point, your partner may be quite heated and might desire the stimulation of your tongue, fingers, penis, or a toy. However, always ensure clear and enthusiastic consent before proceeding. If your partner agrees to penetration, begin by using your tongue around the entrance of the vagina before gently inserting it. Move your tongue in and out, returning to the clitoris periodically.
Pay close attention to their signals to discover the pace and movements they prefer. If you wish to intensify the stimulation, consider simultaneously stimulating the clitoris with your tongue while using your fingers for internal stimulation. Adding a sex toy with external vibrations can also enhance pleasure, particularly if penetration is not their preference or you’d like to give your tongue a break.
For heightened enjoyment, consider introducing a lubricant or massage gel to enhance the experience. Usually, the wetter the better!
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander. There are several erogenous zones all around the body. You could caress their breasts, nipples, stomach, thighs, and bottom. This will make them feel like they can’t get enough, and they will naturally relax even more.
If it’s your first time giving oral sex, you may want to just keep it simple with the person receiving oral sex laying flat on their back. However, if you’re a cunnilingus regular, you may want to mix things up. Why not try having your partner gently sitting on your face or try out The ‘sidecar’ position (similar to a 69 but you both lie on your side facing towards each other) so your heads are next to your partner’s private regions.
The final step is just to enjoy the pleasure and satisfaction they are getting from your oral activities!
And finally
Remember that everyone’s preferences are different and what works for one person may not work for another. It’s essential to communicate openly, respect each other’s boundaries, and prioritise mutual pleasure and comfort. If you’re unsure about something, asking for guidance or discussing your intentions with your partner is always the best idea.
Also, it is not a bad thing or pervy to tell an inexperienced partner how to do it (how you like it). This is part of living an open, honest relationship.
How to give the best oral sex. But before we get into the nitty gritty, there are certain considerations and principles that contribute to a positive, respectful, happy, and satisfying oral experience.
